Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

Selfishly, I've dreaded this and all posts related to this post.  I get emotional just re-living the events of the past few days.  I've procrastinated, knowing my heart will pound, my fingers will shake and my eyes will flood.  In fact, I've already written one post that I can't bring myself to finish.  I'm sappy. What can I say?

For crying out loud, it's "just" Kindergarten... but these aren't "just" any ol' kids...they're MINE.

Dig has always been an outgoing kid, so I knew there was nothing to worry about when it came to school. He's a friendly guy and loves to make people laugh.  He also, proudly attracts a lot of attention from "the ladies." 

He never voiced any concerns about going to school. Going to Preschool was Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeezy. He did well and loved it. I had no reason to think Kindergarten would be any different.  Thankfully, it hasn't been much different at all...for him. 

The night before the first day of school, I, admittedly, was a wreck.  I tried to hide this from the kids, but they can see right through me.  Heck, they know my better than I know me.  Lane started to get a little nervous.  He was doing his "penguin walk" (self-explanatory) and quieter than normal.  When I would say something to ease my nerves like, "are you so excited? It's going to be so fun,"  Lane would answer then say, "I wish you wouldn't talk about it."  I took my cues and sat quietly. 

I gave Dig his allergy meds, Singulair pill, nose spray and eye drops.  We sat back on the couch and he said,

"I wish I was still 4."
"Why Bubs?"
"Because when I was 4 you'd rock me to bed" (disclaimer:  I still do when ever he lets me, trust me, he couldn't get me to stop just because he was 4!!)
"awww! I would love to rock you!"

We snuggled a bit without saying a word, then he points to his eye.  I smiled, not really knowing what he was doing. He did it again, but this time says, "this is not from my eye drops."  He was pointing to a little tear in the corner of his eye. 

That was it.  I lost it.

I assured him it was ok to cry and ok to be nervous, but that everything was going to be so fun and exciting.  I was trying to reassure myself, too.

I tell you what.  This little guy knows how to pull my heart strings.  He told me, "you're the best momma in the whole world and I'm gonna miss you so, so, so much tomorrow."  {I'll hear his sweet little voice forever.}


Then he pointed to his picture on the wall and said, "if you get sad tomorrow, momma, you can look at that picture and kiss it if you need to."  Wow.  For a mom who was trying to "be strong," I was failing...miserably.

We pulled ourselves together and got a drink, then Lane escaped to the kitchen, I followed him and he had a black Sharpie in his hand.  This is what he wrote. 

He wrote it so if he missed me he could kiss it and know I was missing him, too. I drew a heart on DD's hand every morning for most of Kindergarten, (and some of 1st grade!) too. =) So, Lane knew just what to do!

I'm so in love with this little guy.

We're ALL proud to say, the first day of school went off without a hitch...
like we ALL knew it would! Pictures of that to come!