Naughty Words

It's no secret...I love Little House on the Prairie.  I brainwashed Drue, when she was just tiny, into loving the shows as well. This led to her recieving the entire first 5 years of the show on DVD.  We've watched every single one...and more than once.

Anyway, yesterday morning, Ryan was telling me about how the actress who played "Nellie Olsen" on the show was on the "Today Show" promoting her new book called something like, "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch."  The kids were around so Ry said, "Nellie Olsen wrote a book called, Confessions of a Prairie B-Word."

Little Ears perked up. Little House on the Prairie?  The "that-must-mean-something-I'm-not-supposed-to-know" sonar went up.  Our soon-to-be First Grader can sound out every word in the dictionary. We are past the 'spell-it-out' stage...already.  She was going to figure this out. 

"What's the B-word?"

"Mom!? What IS the B-word?"

My decision was to be straight-up.  I prefaced that it is a word that means a couple things.  That she and her brother were never to use the word.  That words aren't really naughty, but the way people say them makes them naughty. 

I went ahead and said it.  "The B-word...is bitch."  I did my best to explain that it is a technical term for a female dog and that other people use it to be hurtful to women, you get the idea. 

That was it. No one laughed.  Each kid said it once, and that was that. 

But, throughout the day Drue would come up to me and say, "Mom, a friend of mine says never to say the F-word because that's the worst one! What is the F-word?"  "Mom, I know the D-word." or "Mom, I know the H-word." 

I just replied, "oh, really?  Well, we don't say those words so keep it to yourself." 

That afternoon, the kids went to Mom and Dad's to make cinnamon rolls and an egg bake for their Daddy for Father's Day.  I had to tell Mom the story. 

When she brought the kids back a few hours later, we sat on the front deck and she quietly shared that the minute Drue got to Nanny's she asked, "so Nanny??  What is the F-word?" "How naughty is the F-word?"  She was trying to get Nanny to spill the beans!  Nanny talked herself out of it and explained that 'we don't want to say those words because when a pretty girl says an ugly word, people start to think of that girl when they hear those ugly words and she just doesn't seem as pretty anymore'....etc...

Well, DD came out on the deck and said,
 "Mom.  I know the D-word." 

Nanny replied, "is it damn?"

DD looked at her like she was crazy..."No!  It's DUMB!"

"I know the H-word too."

I had a feeling I should hear her answers.

"What is it DD? It's ok, you can say it this one time."

She looked a little nervous and whispered..."hate!"

Nanny looked at me and laughed!  Good thing she didn't go ahead and tell her because that's not the word she was thinking!

"I know the S-word...but I shouldn't say it...it's STUPID!"  Lane piped in..."DD! You shouldn't say it and you just did!"

"I know the SH word, too."  This one got me a little nervous.  Lay it on me.  She whispered "SHut up."

"Well, DD, I guess you're right.  You know all the naughty words.  Now just remember, we aren't supposed to say those words.  They can hurt people's feelings and they make us sound like we aren't very nice or very smart."   

"But Mom, I still don't know the F-word and it's the naughtiest of all."

I whispered in my most dramatic mom voice..."It's fart, DD."   Her eyes got huge and she crookedly grinned ear to ear!

"Uh-oh!!!  Uncle Shawn and KK say fart everytime I toot!
They say the F-word ALL THE TIME!!"

Since hearing the story, Uncle Shawn has made it very clear to DD..."Now don't go and tell everyone that I always say the F-word DD!"

I couldn't stop laughing after DD went back inside.  I was in tears at how serious she was and how innocent she is. 

Now, if those could be the only 'naughty words' she ever learns!